Since last October, I’ve spent two hours each Thursday night with a group of guys in a “small group.” Our goal each time we meet is to get at the heart of who we are; what motivates us, what are our hopes, dreams, fears, etc. It’s an opportunity to talk and think about things that we might be quick to push aside otherwise. As we talk and listen, we learn things about ourselves, discovering new avenues for personal growth and finding encouragement to pursue our newfound goals.
In last night’s group, we spent most of our time talking about our jobs. We asked ourselves whether or not we find fulfillment and purpose in our work. Along the way, one of our members introduced the idea of how important it is for each of us to have our own “mission statements.” These mission statements help us define who we are and how we’re wired to interact in the world. For example, I think it’s my mission to create things for other people. I love building websites which help other people or companies express themselves.
We discovered that there was about a fifty-fifty split in our group between guys who were able to recognize their own personal mission statement and guys who could not. In fact, some of the guys mentioned they’d never even thought of this before. We came away from the group encouraged to think about “what makes us tick” and assess whether or not the way we’re living matches up with who we are. The profoundity of our conversation is what has me writing to you today, and as we continue, I’d like to get you thinking about your own mission statement.
What Makes You Tick?
Have you ever asked yourself this question before? I live in a country and a time where I’ve been given unprecedented freedom and opportunity to choose how I will live my life. In fact, my culture teaches me to be indignant when I’m deprived of this. All of this freedom can lead to a self-serving spiral towards making life work for me. However, despite the pitfalls of too much introspection, we’re all aware of the benefit of understanding what makes us tick. For the men in our group who hadn’t thought about this before, simply asking the question “How are you wired?” encouraged them to examine their heart’s desires and consider what fears have kept them from pursuing them.
Therefore, as you start thinking about your own mission statement, begin by asking yourself, “What makes you tick?” or “How are you wired?” Is this something you’ve given yourself permission to do, or have circumstances made you push this aside fearing you’ll summon longings and desires that you’ll never be able to meet?
Even as I write, one of the possible objections that comes to mind is the fact that many who read this may see it as an exercise in narcissism. However, it’s not my goal to get you thinking about how to make life work for you. Rather, I want you to think about how you’ve been uniquely made to contribute to the world you live in.
Going with The Flow
As we continued talking, we discussed the work of psychologist, Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (pronounced me-high CHICK-sent-me-high-ee). He is best known for developing the concept of flow. His theory is that “people are most happy when they are in a state of flow— a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation” (Wikipedia). In an interview with Wired magazine, Csíkszentmihályi described flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”
One of the things we took away from our discussion of Csíkszentmihályi’s theory is that understanding how you are made can be a benefit to those around you. In fact, I would say that you will make your greatest contributions to society when you’re doing what you’re “made” to do. Keeping this in mind, how often do you experience flow, or can you recall ever experiencing it?
Losing Yourself in What You Do
One key aspect of flow that resonates with me is the idea of getting caught up in something where my “ego falls away.” My understanding of ego in this case is a sense of self that controls and regulates the expression of my personality.
Have you ever participated in something where you had to “reach beyond yourself,” where you forgot that it was you that was doing it? I’ve experienced this feeling designing websites, working with youth and speaking in front of groups. During these times, I’ve felt like I was one with the task at hand. My self-consciousness dropped away freeing me to think and act in ways I hadn’t thought of before.
Flow Where You Are
By the end of our conversation last night, none of us had new jobs; none of our situations had changed. However, we did leave with new perspectives and outlooks. As I’ve shared from my small group’s collective wisdom, one thing I want to warn against is the thinking that a change in your circumstances will result in you finding a happy life.
For those who have never thought about it, crafting a mission statement isn’t about designing an exit strategy from your current circumstances. (Although, that could be a part of it.) Rather, one of my takeaways from last night is the idea that knowing my own mission statement gives me the opportunity to “bloom where I’m planted.” When used properly, knowing what makes me tick shows me how I’m best suited to help and serve others.
In closing, I’ll ask you:
- What were you made to do?
- How are you wired? What makes you tick?
- When do you experience flow?
As you answer these questions, you should start to see your own mission statement. Have I got you thinking? If so, leave a comment. I’d love to hear about it.